It Takes the Right Support.
It's been a few weeks. I've sat down at the computer a few times...and just stared at the screen. My days have been so long lately, and I've had so much I've wanted to say...but when I sit here, I'm just so burned out from my work day, that I just want to drop.
Well, I got some good rest last night, and don't have much to do today...so it's time to catch up on some writing.
So, I was trying to get into the grove here....and find my rhythm. I did. And it comes in the form of 12-14 hour long days. From the time I get accountability in morning formation until the time I am on my way home...I feel like I'm moving a thousand miles an hour.
One of the first things I noticed about my unit....after the exercise was over and I was actually getting integrated...was that communication was broken. I had to fix that quickly. Let me explain.... My platoon works the Theater ACE (Analysis and Control Element). It has a real world mission that is must accomplish 24/7. It is also made up of...SOLDIERS. All of whom must ALSO complete certain requirements not related to the ACE mission. There in lies the problem. Any time the Company needed to train one of my guys...it took them away from the Mission, or took their time off away from them. My guys were working ALL the time and the two elements that controlled their lives was always butting heads.
I fixed that. Well....we are in the process of fixing it. I knew it was going to take a LOT of work and a LOT of co-operation between the leadership involved....myself included. I went to my 1SG with my ideas to fix the problems that I saw in the platoon.
He didn't even look at it.
What he did....was tell me that it was my platoon and I should run it the way I thought it should be run. That was all I needed. I took the plan to the Leadership behind the wire...fully expecting it to be shot down. Every time I had mentioned making these changes, everyone told me not to hold my breath when it came to the leaders that ran the mission.
So....when it came time to present the plan to the Mission Leadership, I went in with some anxiety. I was ready to be shot down. I was ready to fight hard to make life easier for my platoon. The man I had to convince came in and sat across the table from me. I laid out my plan...and as he crossed his arms, I braced myself. Then came the questions. For every question he had, I had an answer. For every possible flaw in the plan, I had a solution. And after a barrage of 'what if's' and 'devil's advocate' questions....he sat back and raised an eyebrow. He only had one thing left to say.
"Let's give it a try."
Victory! I walked out of that meeting feeling like a million bucks. I was getting everyone on board. I knew that my plan was going to work, and life was going to be better for my guys. The best part is that my leadership was confident enough in me to allow me to work the way I thought I should to make things happen. It had been a long time since I felt that way about my leadership....or since I thought my leadership felt that way about me.
About a week later...as things were falling into place for my platoon and I felt like I was getting into a groove...life dropped another bomb on me. My 1SG approached me with a life changing decision.
Since I became an NCO, I've had one goal that I wanted to achieve before I left the Army. That is to be a 1SG. I've been in for 15 years now, and that time is coming soon. For whatever reasons....I was passed over the last 2 years...(which is understandable when only about 30 people total were promoted in my job over that time!) What my 1SG had to offer me pretty much guaranteed that I would get that promotion this year on the board.
The Battalion needed a 1SG for Alpha Company...and they wanted me to put my name in for consideration. There are several eligible soldiers over here that could have done it. I'm not claiming that I am the ONLY person they asked. BUT, all the others flat out said, "NO." And here's why: The acceptance of the position came with an extension of my time in Korea. Yep...in order to be 1SG here...I would have to stay for an extra year. So, when the others were offered the position...they didn't hesitate. It was too much time for them.
I didn't say no.
I did tell them that I had to think about it. First and foremost, I had to talk to my wife about it. I run all my big decisions through her. I made the call, expecting to hear a gigantic and emphatic "OH HELL NO!" Instead, she decided to throw me COMPLETELY off.
"You've sacrificed so much in your career that you wanted to do so we could have a more stable life. This sounds like it would be good for you. If we need to consider it then let's do that. I'll support whatever decision you make."
What? NO!
She was supposed to have a definitive answer. I was fully expecting the shut down. I almost welcomed it. Even if I thought I wanted the job, if she had said no....it would have been a simple decision. "No, 1SG, I can't do it...it's not right for the family right now." See? Besides....this meant that I had to think about it and make a decision. I make other people's decisions all day long. I really wanted my wife to make this one for me!!
So, I spent the next couple days mulling it over. After that first conversation about it, she and I didn't have much time to talk about it without the kids overhearing and making assumptions or getting freaked out. So...we avoided talking about it when they were around. I told my wife to make a list of pros and cons for me staying and taking the position. I would do the same and we would talk about it later. She e-mailed me her list. Then when we talked about it, it didn't go quite the way I expected. What had happened, was that she was simply voicing her concerns about me being gone for an additional year. It's what I asked her to do. But for some reason, I was taking it as her telling me she didn't want me to do it. After initially hearing that I had her support either way, this felt wrong. I found myself frustrated that she said she would support it, but when it came down to talking about it...I wasn't feeling very supported. We hung up the phone on a bit of a sour note and I felt that I had to decide on my own again....with her really not wanting me to do it...but not really saying that in so many words.
Then I received an e-mail from her.
It said everything that I needed to hear. She said in the e-mail that it would suck if I was gone...and of course neither she nor the kids wanted me gone for longer than I had to be. BUT, if I decided to do it, they really would support me and they would be fine. That was all I needed to hear. I needed to know....without a doubt...that she was on board with whatever I decided. I didn't want to feel like I was saying no to this opportunity and later going to regret it or have her regret the decision I made either.
I said no anyway.
And here's why: After I got that e-mail...after I knew I had her support no matter what...I was able to think about it clearly and unburdened. I knew that either way...she and I would be alright, that there would be no regrets and no resentment later on down the road. I thought about it...I even practiced telling my 1SG both that I had accepted the offer, and that I was NOT accepting the offer. Yes...I sat in my bed speaking out loud to an empty room. Every time I said "Thank you for the offer, but I'm going to have to say no. The timing isn't right," I had a sense of peace....of calm...that spoke to me.
So, I'm still the ACE Platoon Sergeant. I am still making changes. I am still pushing toward my goal of 1SG...just not at the cost of leaving my family alone for that long. I feel like I can do anything...and make all my goals become reality in my career and my life.
But I can't do it alone. It takes hard work. It takes dedication. It takes sacrifice. It takes the right support. And, I have all that.
SFC Newman
Out
Well, I got some good rest last night, and don't have much to do today...so it's time to catch up on some writing.
So, I was trying to get into the grove here....and find my rhythm. I did. And it comes in the form of 12-14 hour long days. From the time I get accountability in morning formation until the time I am on my way home...I feel like I'm moving a thousand miles an hour.
One of the first things I noticed about my unit....after the exercise was over and I was actually getting integrated...was that communication was broken. I had to fix that quickly. Let me explain.... My platoon works the Theater ACE (Analysis and Control Element). It has a real world mission that is must accomplish 24/7. It is also made up of...SOLDIERS. All of whom must ALSO complete certain requirements not related to the ACE mission. There in lies the problem. Any time the Company needed to train one of my guys...it took them away from the Mission, or took their time off away from them. My guys were working ALL the time and the two elements that controlled their lives was always butting heads.
I fixed that. Well....we are in the process of fixing it. I knew it was going to take a LOT of work and a LOT of co-operation between the leadership involved....myself included. I went to my 1SG with my ideas to fix the problems that I saw in the platoon.
He didn't even look at it.
What he did....was tell me that it was my platoon and I should run it the way I thought it should be run. That was all I needed. I took the plan to the Leadership behind the wire...fully expecting it to be shot down. Every time I had mentioned making these changes, everyone told me not to hold my breath when it came to the leaders that ran the mission.
So....when it came time to present the plan to the Mission Leadership, I went in with some anxiety. I was ready to be shot down. I was ready to fight hard to make life easier for my platoon. The man I had to convince came in and sat across the table from me. I laid out my plan...and as he crossed his arms, I braced myself. Then came the questions. For every question he had, I had an answer. For every possible flaw in the plan, I had a solution. And after a barrage of 'what if's' and 'devil's advocate' questions....he sat back and raised an eyebrow. He only had one thing left to say.
"Let's give it a try."
Victory! I walked out of that meeting feeling like a million bucks. I was getting everyone on board. I knew that my plan was going to work, and life was going to be better for my guys. The best part is that my leadership was confident enough in me to allow me to work the way I thought I should to make things happen. It had been a long time since I felt that way about my leadership....or since I thought my leadership felt that way about me.
About a week later...as things were falling into place for my platoon and I felt like I was getting into a groove...life dropped another bomb on me. My 1SG approached me with a life changing decision.
Since I became an NCO, I've had one goal that I wanted to achieve before I left the Army. That is to be a 1SG. I've been in for 15 years now, and that time is coming soon. For whatever reasons....I was passed over the last 2 years...(which is understandable when only about 30 people total were promoted in my job over that time!) What my 1SG had to offer me pretty much guaranteed that I would get that promotion this year on the board.
The Battalion needed a 1SG for Alpha Company...and they wanted me to put my name in for consideration. There are several eligible soldiers over here that could have done it. I'm not claiming that I am the ONLY person they asked. BUT, all the others flat out said, "NO." And here's why: The acceptance of the position came with an extension of my time in Korea. Yep...in order to be 1SG here...I would have to stay for an extra year. So, when the others were offered the position...they didn't hesitate. It was too much time for them.
I didn't say no.
I did tell them that I had to think about it. First and foremost, I had to talk to my wife about it. I run all my big decisions through her. I made the call, expecting to hear a gigantic and emphatic "OH HELL NO!" Instead, she decided to throw me COMPLETELY off.
"You've sacrificed so much in your career that you wanted to do so we could have a more stable life. This sounds like it would be good for you. If we need to consider it then let's do that. I'll support whatever decision you make."
What? NO!
She was supposed to have a definitive answer. I was fully expecting the shut down. I almost welcomed it. Even if I thought I wanted the job, if she had said no....it would have been a simple decision. "No, 1SG, I can't do it...it's not right for the family right now." See? Besides....this meant that I had to think about it and make a decision. I make other people's decisions all day long. I really wanted my wife to make this one for me!!
So, I spent the next couple days mulling it over. After that first conversation about it, she and I didn't have much time to talk about it without the kids overhearing and making assumptions or getting freaked out. So...we avoided talking about it when they were around. I told my wife to make a list of pros and cons for me staying and taking the position. I would do the same and we would talk about it later. She e-mailed me her list. Then when we talked about it, it didn't go quite the way I expected. What had happened, was that she was simply voicing her concerns about me being gone for an additional year. It's what I asked her to do. But for some reason, I was taking it as her telling me she didn't want me to do it. After initially hearing that I had her support either way, this felt wrong. I found myself frustrated that she said she would support it, but when it came down to talking about it...I wasn't feeling very supported. We hung up the phone on a bit of a sour note and I felt that I had to decide on my own again....with her really not wanting me to do it...but not really saying that in so many words.
Then I received an e-mail from her.
It said everything that I needed to hear. She said in the e-mail that it would suck if I was gone...and of course neither she nor the kids wanted me gone for longer than I had to be. BUT, if I decided to do it, they really would support me and they would be fine. That was all I needed to hear. I needed to know....without a doubt...that she was on board with whatever I decided. I didn't want to feel like I was saying no to this opportunity and later going to regret it or have her regret the decision I made either.
I said no anyway.
And here's why: After I got that e-mail...after I knew I had her support no matter what...I was able to think about it clearly and unburdened. I knew that either way...she and I would be alright, that there would be no regrets and no resentment later on down the road. I thought about it...I even practiced telling my 1SG both that I had accepted the offer, and that I was NOT accepting the offer. Yes...I sat in my bed speaking out loud to an empty room. Every time I said "Thank you for the offer, but I'm going to have to say no. The timing isn't right," I had a sense of peace....of calm...that spoke to me.
So, I'm still the ACE Platoon Sergeant. I am still making changes. I am still pushing toward my goal of 1SG...just not at the cost of leaving my family alone for that long. I feel like I can do anything...and make all my goals become reality in my career and my life.
But I can't do it alone. It takes hard work. It takes dedication. It takes sacrifice. It takes the right support. And, I have all that.
SFC Newman
Out
posted by Unknown at 1:38 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home