Gone but not Forgotten
One of the biggest fears of many of the men and women over here, is not so much death or the imminent danger that faces us every day. It is something a bit more subtle...and something that actually happens at home...rather than right here. That fear is that we will be forgotten.
Now, I sometimes wonder how someone could ever forget about anyone over here when the situation here in Iraq is shoved down their throats every day. You can't watch ten minutes of the news without Iraq being mentioned in one way or another.
As a guy over here in Iraq living out this strange thing most people only see on TV as part of a news report...it's a bit annoying.
First of all, everyone has an opinion and most people are willing to get out there and tell you what it is. That makes me happy...because it means there is still a Constitution to be fighting for and defending. You know...that whole "Freedom of Speech" thing.
What I find interesting is that we are often given opinions about this war, by people who have never been here...or in any conflict for that matter. Or if they did happen to be in a war, it is likely that it was the Vietnam War...which, while it has its similarities, was a different animal than what we are trying to do here.
I honestly believe that you have to be here and spend time here to understand what is going on here. Those of us on six month deployments...just start to "get it" before going back home. Those of us on a year long tour...well, we get it...and then we watch as all the things we try to make happen just stall before our eyes and then it is time to go home...with a strange feeling of leaving things unfinished.
So...when a Senator or a Congressman comes over here for three days and spends his time seeing all the "Dignitary stops" (which I will not list for security reasons) and then goes back to the states and says "I was there...I talked to the Iraqi people...I saw what we are doing..." I want to throw something at the TV.
And another thing...I want politicians to stop using the war as means to assert political "tit for tat." To me, it's like they sit there and say..."I don't like the President, or his policy...and I want to prove that I can do it better, so I will argue that he has no idea what he is doing. Hmmm...what is the one thing that I can bring up that will get people fired up? I know...that Iraq thing!" I almost feel as if they forget that there are real live men and women over here fighting this thing that they just talk about or that they use as leverage point.
The war to them seems to have become a tool. They use it to personally attack the President's plans. "Oh, you want to send more troops over there...fine, you can do that but we just won't pay for it."
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING!?!?!?!
That's like saying you are going to send an NFL team to the Super Bowl, but you aren't going to fund it so they have to use what they can scrape together. What do you get? A bunch of big guys out there in substandard equipment trying to play the biggest game of their lives.
That's us. For many of the soldiers out here...this is exactly why they joined the Army to begin with. And they are disappointed. They thought that the one organization that was tasked with the security of the Nation would get a bit more respect and support. They were wrong.
Why?
Because people forget. They forget that each one of us is a son or daughter...they forget that we have families back home that are the only reasons many of us get out of bed each day...they forget that for a person to continue to function in a situation like this...they have to feel supported. And telling us every day that you support the troops...but not if it means continuing to pay for it...that's not support. It's demoralizing.
So...I was talking about not being forgotten...sorry...I got side tracked.
When my Dad came home from Vietnam, he came home to a different society than the troops come home to today. He and his fellow soldiers were called names and hated...spit on and protested against. Today, Soldiers are treated with a bit more respect when we come home...but not necessarily while we are gone.
As I said before, it was my choice to come out here. I am an individual augmentee...which means I came out here to fill one specific job, by myself...without a whole unit coming along with me. While that is good, in that I don't have to deal with all the irritating stuff that comes along with having a whole unit with you in the Combat Zone...it is a bit awkward.
I have to e-mail back to the states and check in with my unit. At first, I got e-mails frequently from them. One of my best friends out there wrote to me every day. She has not responded to my latest e-mail in about three weeks. I have actually only heard from her twice in the last three months. I have asked questions about re-enlisting and can't get them to respond. The last time they contacted me was to see if I had taken a P.T. test since I had come out here.
It is sad when your own home unit...the very LAST people outside of your own family who should be forgetting you...does exactly that. I have been gone so long, I guess it is kind of "out of sight, out of mind."
As far as being forgotten...I am so grateful and fortunate to have a family that supports me so much. I just talked to my kids about an hour ago...and it was refreshing.
Sometimes...only sometimes...I feel like they have gotten too used to me not being there and will survive and be just fine if I don't come back. I hear about them playing in the snow and building an igloo with the neighbor...or my son going to his first dance...and I don't get to be there for that. They have so much fun and I am not even a little part of it...and it makes me sad.
But then...there are moments like the phone call tonight. My son got on the phone and was almost in tears. I asked what was wrong. He told me that he couldn't get the shield on his Lego Knight to stay on and no one there knew how to do it...and when I was going to come home, because I was the only one who could make it work.
See...I am needed.
I know it is small...and I know in my heart that they (my family) have not forgotten me. But, it is hard to hear how well they are doing without me sometimes. Don't get me wrong...I don't want them to sit around and be miserable...I'm doing enough of that for all of us. I am glad they are doing as well as they are. I am so proud of them for how well they are doing, actually. It just feels good to be needed every now and then.
I am down to less than three months left here in Iraq. It will be about three months exactly before I walk in the door to my house and hold my family in arms again. While I sit here and watch the news for the rest of that time and check an empty military e-mail inbox, I will continue to live for those calls home.
It is those calls that tell me I may be gone, but not forgotten.
SFC NEWMAN
OUT
Now, I sometimes wonder how someone could ever forget about anyone over here when the situation here in Iraq is shoved down their throats every day. You can't watch ten minutes of the news without Iraq being mentioned in one way or another.
As a guy over here in Iraq living out this strange thing most people only see on TV as part of a news report...it's a bit annoying.
First of all, everyone has an opinion and most people are willing to get out there and tell you what it is. That makes me happy...because it means there is still a Constitution to be fighting for and defending. You know...that whole "Freedom of Speech" thing.
What I find interesting is that we are often given opinions about this war, by people who have never been here...or in any conflict for that matter. Or if they did happen to be in a war, it is likely that it was the Vietnam War...which, while it has its similarities, was a different animal than what we are trying to do here.
I honestly believe that you have to be here and spend time here to understand what is going on here. Those of us on six month deployments...just start to "get it" before going back home. Those of us on a year long tour...well, we get it...and then we watch as all the things we try to make happen just stall before our eyes and then it is time to go home...with a strange feeling of leaving things unfinished.
So...when a Senator or a Congressman comes over here for three days and spends his time seeing all the "Dignitary stops" (which I will not list for security reasons) and then goes back to the states and says "I was there...I talked to the Iraqi people...I saw what we are doing..." I want to throw something at the TV.
And another thing...I want politicians to stop using the war as means to assert political "tit for tat." To me, it's like they sit there and say..."I don't like the President, or his policy...and I want to prove that I can do it better, so I will argue that he has no idea what he is doing. Hmmm...what is the one thing that I can bring up that will get people fired up? I know...that Iraq thing!" I almost feel as if they forget that there are real live men and women over here fighting this thing that they just talk about or that they use as leverage point.
The war to them seems to have become a tool. They use it to personally attack the President's plans. "Oh, you want to send more troops over there...fine, you can do that but we just won't pay for it."
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING!?!?!?!
That's like saying you are going to send an NFL team to the Super Bowl, but you aren't going to fund it so they have to use what they can scrape together. What do you get? A bunch of big guys out there in substandard equipment trying to play the biggest game of their lives.
That's us. For many of the soldiers out here...this is exactly why they joined the Army to begin with. And they are disappointed. They thought that the one organization that was tasked with the security of the Nation would get a bit more respect and support. They were wrong.
Why?
Because people forget. They forget that each one of us is a son or daughter...they forget that we have families back home that are the only reasons many of us get out of bed each day...they forget that for a person to continue to function in a situation like this...they have to feel supported. And telling us every day that you support the troops...but not if it means continuing to pay for it...that's not support. It's demoralizing.
So...I was talking about not being forgotten...sorry...I got side tracked.
When my Dad came home from Vietnam, he came home to a different society than the troops come home to today. He and his fellow soldiers were called names and hated...spit on and protested against. Today, Soldiers are treated with a bit more respect when we come home...but not necessarily while we are gone.
As I said before, it was my choice to come out here. I am an individual augmentee...which means I came out here to fill one specific job, by myself...without a whole unit coming along with me. While that is good, in that I don't have to deal with all the irritating stuff that comes along with having a whole unit with you in the Combat Zone...it is a bit awkward.
I have to e-mail back to the states and check in with my unit. At first, I got e-mails frequently from them. One of my best friends out there wrote to me every day. She has not responded to my latest e-mail in about three weeks. I have actually only heard from her twice in the last three months. I have asked questions about re-enlisting and can't get them to respond. The last time they contacted me was to see if I had taken a P.T. test since I had come out here.
It is sad when your own home unit...the very LAST people outside of your own family who should be forgetting you...does exactly that. I have been gone so long, I guess it is kind of "out of sight, out of mind."
As far as being forgotten...I am so grateful and fortunate to have a family that supports me so much. I just talked to my kids about an hour ago...and it was refreshing.
Sometimes...only sometimes...I feel like they have gotten too used to me not being there and will survive and be just fine if I don't come back. I hear about them playing in the snow and building an igloo with the neighbor...or my son going to his first dance...and I don't get to be there for that. They have so much fun and I am not even a little part of it...and it makes me sad.
But then...there are moments like the phone call tonight. My son got on the phone and was almost in tears. I asked what was wrong. He told me that he couldn't get the shield on his Lego Knight to stay on and no one there knew how to do it...and when I was going to come home, because I was the only one who could make it work.
See...I am needed.
I know it is small...and I know in my heart that they (my family) have not forgotten me. But, it is hard to hear how well they are doing without me sometimes. Don't get me wrong...I don't want them to sit around and be miserable...I'm doing enough of that for all of us. I am glad they are doing as well as they are. I am so proud of them for how well they are doing, actually. It just feels good to be needed every now and then.
I am down to less than three months left here in Iraq. It will be about three months exactly before I walk in the door to my house and hold my family in arms again. While I sit here and watch the news for the rest of that time and check an empty military e-mail inbox, I will continue to live for those calls home.
It is those calls that tell me I may be gone, but not forgotten.
SFC NEWMAN
OUT
posted by Unknown at 9:48 PM
1 Comments:
Even tho I was just lucky enough to stumble onto your blog by clicking "Next Blog" one day I am convinced that I was "meant" to find it. I look forward to your posts and worry when it seems the distance of time between posts is longer.
I detest people who use the war as "argument bait" and don't think of the human toll. I know you and all the other soldiers are fighting this fight so our babies get the lives we had growing up. A nd I'm thankful for all of your bravery every day.
I know nothing of you and your family other than what you put here, but I can tell you.... You and all the troops deployed under our flag make me proud to be an American....not the snitty politicians.
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