It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

I was dreaming. At least it was as close to a dream as I can call them lately. Not a nightmare, at all...I was actually enjoying it. Then I heard something. I distinctly remember the noise.

I opened my eyes as it grew louder. It was a kind of howling whistle sound. I sat up as the howling stopped...and the explosion rocked the trailer. It was the first of ten that would hit in about a ten minute period.

I looked over at my room mate, who was standing up now and looking rather...well, he was pissed. "It too close," was all he said. He was so right.

I am down to 17 days at this point...too close for something 'bad' to happen. But still not as close as him...he leaves a week before me.

They say that complacency kills...and I believe that. It only took two days after the last big attack for people to "get tired of putting all that stuff on, just to walk to work." And that attack was lethal! I don't think I will understand...ever.

So...I tried to calm down and go back to sleep. I accomplished a quick nap before having to get up for the night...typical. When I walked into work, I didn't know I would be walking into one of the most busy nights I've had in a while.

Being busy is not a problem. Being busy with nonsense work IS a problem. I work the INTEL section here at the Embassy. In the room in which I work, there are several different sections each with their own tasks. It really puts me in a bad mood when my section is used as the busy work guys. I understand that INTEL is supposed to 'know everything' (go ahead...you can laugh) but that doesn't mean that we DO all the little tasks that others are getting paid to do.

SO... that being said...we lost and still had to do the other sections' busy work. That would be the main reason I was in a bad mood...well, at least the catalyst for why I was in a bad mood.

Then came the other reasons...the Officers.

NOW...don't get me wrong. I completely respect Officers for what they do, and for the rank they hold. However...I have met many that qualify as morons. These are college educated men and women who have much more responsibility than I do...and frankly that often scares me.

I work with possibly the loudest man on the planet. He works several "rows" down from me...but he never fails to let everyone hear what is on his mind, regardless of how idiotic it may sound. He has offered up "solutions" to "this problem" as varied as "Let's just make it policy to shoot them all on sight," to "What if we put them all in camps...the men in one area, and the women and children in another?"

Sounds great...if you're into genocidal concentration camps!

It was only when I called him on how moronic that sounded, and told him that he was an example of "A waste of education" that he changed his views.

So...I am busy doing work for other sections...while I continue to answer to the Chief of Operations...and having to listen to the overwhelming voice of the loud guy. All of this after one of the largest attacks in recent history.

Then comes the arrival of the day crew. Oh, goodie...more people to irritate the hell out of me!

There is a common line of thinking, in and out of the military, that most men don't like women in the military. I don't know how true that is...honestly. I also don't see things like most people, so don't take my word as carved in stone law. (Besides...there are some women in the Army that can easily kick my ass...Dave, I'm talking to you!! And, yes...Dave is a woman.)

I believe that once you put on the Uniform, there is no more race, gender, or religion. We are all one gender...and that is Soldier. We are all one color...and that is green. And we are all one religion...that is the Army.

What I DO have a problem with is when a female soldier perpetuates the stereotypes that so many have worked hard to destroy. There are two that stand out and drive me crazy. The first is what I like to call "the pampered Princess."

The Pampered Princess comes in many forms...but usually, (at least the ones I have encountered...) a semi attractive female soldier (though on occasion I HAVE come across the male version...and it ain't pretty!) that has gotten through most of her life on her looks, or her puppy dog eyes, or her "girlyness!" I actually love encountering this type of stereotypical soldier. BECAUSE, I don't see gender when I put on the uniform. I treat all my soldiers as equals and rate them on their ability, not their gender.

This is especially fun when the Pampered Princess has to do "Soldier Stuff." Soldier stuff includes, but is not limited to disassembling and re-assembling an M-16/M-4, carrying a heavy pack for long distances (upwards of twelve miles or more), crawling through the mud on one's face, or trying to find one's way through the woods with naught but a map and a compass.

Usually, in my experience, the Pampered Princess will attempt one of the above Soldier stuff tasks no more than once before the whinging starts. I love it when they look up at me and pout and ask for someone to "Help," (which is Princess talk for "Someone else do it for me).

I look them dead in the eyes and tell them that they don't stand a chance with the pouting...I am immune to it. (Seriously...I have a three...almost four year old little girl who is a REAL LIFE PRINCESS who actually practices her pouting in the mirror so she can get it just right.) BUT...in the end...after I MAKE them do what is expected of them all by themselves...I usually get a thank you. I am often told that they never had been challenged before and I taught them something about themselves.

The other, more irritating side of the Pampered Princess is the Disillusioned Princess. This is actually a subset of the Pampered Princess, and is much more irritating in that they can rarely be taught anything without my just being flat out mean.

This type of Princess finds herself in the minority...being female...and revels in the attention her own gender garners. They are prevalent in places that lack a female presence...Like Iraq for example!!! It gets irritating when (and again, this is just MY experience talking) EVERY TIME she comes back from the chow hall, or the bathroom, or from running downstairs to make a phone call, or even just coming in for the shift...I have to hear how"The guards told me how nice I looked today," or "They smiled and said that they can tell I am losing weight," or "That one guard told me how pretty I am today."

REALITY CHECK TIME: You are a female in a place where males outnumber the females seven to one. Those guards are even more isolated from us, because they don't even live in the same compound as us...and have you seen any female guards...no. Most of them (at the time) had been here six months or longer. You are not special...they are just horny. STOP TELLING ME ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!

The second stereotype that irritates the hell out of me is the female Soldier who feels they have something to prove...even if I have never given them reason to feel that way!!! This is the species known as Jannie Rambo.

Janie Rambo will "one up" anything a male Soldier says...regardless of whether or not the male Soldier was trying to have the 'pissing contest' that good ole Jannie thought he was having. I want to take this opportunity to point out the difference between a good solid female Soldier...and a Jannie Rambo.

The good female soldier is simply that...A SOLDIER THAT IS GOOD AT WHAT SHE DOES. Be it working out, running, knowing the technical or tactical side of Soldiering, she is good at it and that is that.

Jannie Rambo, on the other hand, may be good at her job...that's not the issue. The issue is when she must point out HOW good she is at her job...or anything else for that matter.

I found out that one of my co-workers is a Jannie Rambo...much to my surprise. She is very good at what she does. She is physically fit, and doesn't pull the "Girly Card" ever. We get along, as we share the same sense of humor. (No, Dave...this isn't you...you are not a Jannie Rambo.)

The Jannie in question, had been having a bad day the day before this (my "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day") and had even told me how badly she needed her half day. She had been working an average of 14 hrs a day for a month with no break. I fully supported her and told her she should take her time off as soon as possible. "What we don't want," I said, "Is for you to burn out. Take the time and recharge...then come back in full swing."

I then went on to tell her I understood. I told her how I found that I needed time off when I worked those ridiculous hours in the beginning...(I then brought up my infamous 21 hour work day.) I insisted that she take time or I would be making her go to her trailer and rest.

Two days later, and I was having my bad day. I asked her, "Do you remember how you were feeling the other day...when you said you needed your half day?" To which she replied, "Yeah...I needed it too...I'm glad I took it." So, I said to her...during the morning of my very bad day...that "I am feeling the same way right about now."

Why did I say it? To vent mostly. Because I thought since she vented to me, I could do the same. (She outranks me...so I can vent up...not down.)

Her response? "Have you done four weeks yet, without a break? Fourteen hours a day?"

There are multiple layers to how wrong this is...so bear with me a minute.

First...on a personal level, that was just rude. I never went into how hard I had it when she told me she needed time off. And, was I supposed to feel bad that she had to work all that time? We ARE in a combat zone after all...any time is better than none.

Second...on a professional level, turning it into a contest of who had it worse is beneath either of us. If she felt like I was whining...then just say so. I'm a big boy...I can take it. But to compare...well, just not cool.

Third...on a leadership level...well, let's see. First off, don't compare how bad you have it with anyone who is saying they need a break. By saying that, she immediately minimized my feelings and told me that what I said I needed wasn't important to her because I hadn't gone through as much as she had. (or so she thought...) Secondly, you don't compare how hard you have it to your SUBORDINATES!!! You are the leader...therefore you must show them that no matter how hard things are, they aren't unbearable. You acknowledge their feelings as legitimate, and re-enforce their confidence levels by showing confidence in their ability to complete the task before them. Encouragement was in order...not a pissing contest.

For the record...I know it sounds like whining now. Let me clarify what my main problem with it is. POOR LEADERSHIP!!! She is one of those college educated, highly trained LEADERS...OFFICERS...that I was talking about earlier. I consider myself a good leader. I also think I can recognise when there is a flaw, or lack of experience, or lack of judgement in leadership.

I don't know what the case was with her this particular time...but she perpetuated the stereotype of the Jannie Rambo by jumping straight into a competitive mode in the conversation.

That was about it for me that day. I clenched my jaw, cracked my neck and focused on the computer and my work for the last hour and a half. Then I immediately left and went back to my trailer.

I guess part of the reason I am venting now, is because I thought that after all this time out here...it would have gotten better. The inane stupid crap that fills the spaces between work, sleep, and indirect fire attack never seems to go away...it will be here as long as we are.

The next morning, I checked off another day on my calendar...the picture of my daughter smiling at me as the Sharpie squeaked a big black "X" across the date. Shortly after that, five more rockets hit the compound, reminding me again that It Ain't Over, 'Til It's Over.

SFC NEWMAN,
OUT