Gone but not Forgotten

One of the biggest fears of many of the men and women over here, is not so much death or the imminent danger that faces us every day. It is something a bit more subtle...and something that actually happens at home...rather than right here. That fear is that we will be forgotten.

Now, I sometimes wonder how someone could ever forget about anyone over here when the situation here in Iraq is shoved down their throats every day. You can't watch ten minutes of the news without Iraq being mentioned in one way or another.

As a guy over here in Iraq living out this strange thing most people only see on TV as part of a news report...it's a bit annoying.

First of all, everyone has an opinion and most people are willing to get out there and tell you what it is. That makes me happy...because it means there is still a Constitution to be fighting for and defending. You know...that whole "Freedom of Speech" thing.

What I find interesting is that we are often given opinions about this war, by people who have never been here...or in any conflict for that matter. Or if they did happen to be in a war, it is likely that it was the Vietnam War...which, while it has its similarities, was a different animal than what we are trying to do here.

I honestly believe that you have to be here and spend time here to understand what is going on here. Those of us on six month deployments...just start to "get it" before going back home. Those of us on a year long tour...well, we get it...and then we watch as all the things we try to make happen just stall before our eyes and then it is time to go home...with a strange feeling of leaving things unfinished.

So...when a Senator or a Congressman comes over here for three days and spends his time seeing all the "Dignitary stops" (which I will not list for security reasons) and then goes back to the states and says "I was there...I talked to the Iraqi people...I saw what we are doing..." I want to throw something at the TV.

And another thing...I want politicians to stop using the war as means to assert political "tit for tat." To me, it's like they sit there and say..."I don't like the President, or his policy...and I want to prove that I can do it better, so I will argue that he has no idea what he is doing. Hmmm...what is the one thing that I can bring up that will get people fired up? I know...that Iraq thing!" I almost feel as if they forget that there are real live men and women over here fighting this thing that they just talk about or that they use as leverage point.

The war to them seems to have become a tool. They use it to personally attack the President's plans. "Oh, you want to send more troops over there...fine, you can do that but we just won't pay for it."

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING!?!?!?!

That's like saying you are going to send an NFL team to the Super Bowl, but you aren't going to fund it so they have to use what they can scrape together. What do you get? A bunch of big guys out there in substandard equipment trying to play the biggest game of their lives.

That's us. For many of the soldiers out here...this is exactly why they joined the Army to begin with. And they are disappointed. They thought that the one organization that was tasked with the security of the Nation would get a bit more respect and support. They were wrong.

Why?

Because people forget. They forget that each one of us is a son or daughter...they forget that we have families back home that are the only reasons many of us get out of bed each day...they forget that for a person to continue to function in a situation like this...they have to feel supported. And telling us every day that you support the troops...but not if it means continuing to pay for it...that's not support. It's demoralizing.

So...I was talking about not being forgotten...sorry...I got side tracked.

When my Dad came home from Vietnam, he came home to a different society than the troops come home to today. He and his fellow soldiers were called names and hated...spit on and protested against. Today, Soldiers are treated with a bit more respect when we come home...but not necessarily while we are gone.

As I said before, it was my choice to come out here. I am an individual augmentee...which means I came out here to fill one specific job, by myself...without a whole unit coming along with me. While that is good, in that I don't have to deal with all the irritating stuff that comes along with having a whole unit with you in the Combat Zone...it is a bit awkward.

I have to e-mail back to the states and check in with my unit. At first, I got e-mails frequently from them. One of my best friends out there wrote to me every day. She has not responded to my latest e-mail in about three weeks. I have actually only heard from her twice in the last three months. I have asked questions about re-enlisting and can't get them to respond. The last time they contacted me was to see if I had taken a P.T. test since I had come out here.

It is sad when your own home unit...the very LAST people outside of your own family who should be forgetting you...does exactly that. I have been gone so long, I guess it is kind of "out of sight, out of mind."

As far as being forgotten...I am so grateful and fortunate to have a family that supports me so much. I just talked to my kids about an hour ago...and it was refreshing.

Sometimes...only sometimes...I feel like they have gotten too used to me not being there and will survive and be just fine if I don't come back. I hear about them playing in the snow and building an igloo with the neighbor...or my son going to his first dance...and I don't get to be there for that. They have so much fun and I am not even a little part of it...and it makes me sad.

But then...there are moments like the phone call tonight. My son got on the phone and was almost in tears. I asked what was wrong. He told me that he couldn't get the shield on his Lego Knight to stay on and no one there knew how to do it...and when I was going to come home, because I was the only one who could make it work.

See...I am needed.

I know it is small...and I know in my heart that they (my family) have not forgotten me. But, it is hard to hear how well they are doing without me sometimes. Don't get me wrong...I don't want them to sit around and be miserable...I'm doing enough of that for all of us. I am glad they are doing as well as they are. I am so proud of them for how well they are doing, actually. It just feels good to be needed every now and then.

I am down to less than three months left here in Iraq. It will be about three months exactly before I walk in the door to my house and hold my family in arms again. While I sit here and watch the news for the rest of that time and check an empty military e-mail inbox, I will continue to live for those calls home.

It is those calls that tell me I may be gone, but not forgotten.

SFC NEWMAN
OUT

Circus America

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls...Children of all Ages, come one...come all and prepare to be dazzled by the wonders before you. This is the GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH!!!!

I sit here everynight and watch four different news channels at the same time. TWO of them are based in the US...basically they are the two MAJOR news networks we have. Then there are two others. What I see is that AMERICANS...based on what I see on the various World News channels...are obsessed with the insanely strange!!! We cannot juat have news stories with substance.

I am amazed at what warrants time on the news these days...and how much it gets. What is it that we find so entertaining about some of these things?

I blame reality TV. Which...if you watch any of it, you should realize that there is no such thing anymore. (I admit...I am a reality TV junkie...The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, Nanny 911...Love them all.) But, for the most part, they have lost all sense of reality. I mean, come on...in REAL life, would twenty women KNOWINGLY date the same guy...and live in the same house while doing so...and not attempt to kill each other or the guy...knowing that at the end of it all he is going to pick only one of them? (Most likely to break it off later ANYWAY!?!?!)

So...when real life becomes stranger than fiction...we get absolutely enchanted. Look at the Astronaut story. I mean...you can't make this stuff up. An astronaut has a relationship with a fellow Astronaut who happens to be married...then she decides to don an adult diaper and drive cross country to possibly kill her married boyfriend's wife.

WHAT?! I mean...who does that? Yes...it is strange and fascinating and someone out there HAD to tell us about it...sure, got that. HOWEVER...did it need to take up the bulk of TWO days of reporting? I doubt it.

The strange and unusual are not the only obsessions that we have. There is also the phenomenon that I like to call..."Being famous for being famous." This refers to celebrities that really don't have much other than their celebrity.

Take for instance, one of my favorites...Paris Hilton. While she hasn't made news lately...she is still famous for one thing...being Paris Hilton and not much more. Her father is a very wealthy man and she lived the life of a rich girl...partied hard, and someone somewhere had the brilliant idea to film her and her friend (Nicole Ritchie) as they acted like the ignorant, spoiled rich brats that they are...and AMERICA LOVED IT!!!!

I know she is doing stuff now that one could count as legit...but what launched her was the fact that she was Paris Hilton.

And when did the fact that twenty something celebrities go out and drink, and party like super stars (because they are)...and don't wear panties...somehow become NEWS!?!?! I'm sorry...but I just don't care that Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and that Linsey Lohan girl don't wear panties when they party. Nor am I surprised. If you want to tell me some news, or shock me with an underwear story...tell me that Barbara Walters is sitting on the set of The View with nothing on under that table...(THAT would be surprising...and a bit disturbing.)

And, on that same note...Britney is not the best Mom out there...got it...move on. Who cares if she and her previously unknown white trash husband are getting a divorce? (Old 'news', I know...but it fits the rant...) It is NOT a surprise and does not warrant more than a passing mention in the NEWS...maybe even just a blurb in the little scroll bar at the bottom of the screen.

In mentioning spoiled little rich girls like Britney and Paris...I think I would be amiss to not mention the boys that fit that mold. My favorite being the Gotti boys. I understand that they have possibly one of the most recognizable names in America, but what have THEY done...other than be John Gotti's grandkids? Well...once a week we got to see how they walked around feeling like they owned the world and could do no wrong, and disrespecting their mother at every opportunity they had. But I guess that's good TV, huh?

My next example comes from a quasi tragic event in recent reporting. Anna Nicole Smith died recently at the age of thirty nine. While her death is tragic and I do not in any way want to minimize the fact that people are hurt and saddened by this...I do want to point out that there is other stuff going on in the world.

She did not start off in the same way as Paris...no, she was able to make her name by taking her clothes off. I am not being judgmental at all...if grown women (and men for that fact) choose that as a career path, then more power to them...they sure as hell are making more money than I am.

At some point...the tragic Mrs. Smith's life took a strange turn and she became this train wreck that we couldn't stop watching. From her twilight zone marriage...(he was SIXTY TWO YEARS older than she was...gross.) To her very own TV show, where we could all watch (what I believe was a very drugged...in some way or another) Anna Nicole every week prove that one time fame does not make life a bed of roses forever.

Then she went through having a new baby and losing her oldest within DAYS of each other...and suddenly she collapses in a hotel in Miami...never to wake up. Is it sad...yes. Should it have been reported...why not? Do we need to keep focusing on all the strange and twisted things that have happened in this woman's life...not likely.

I fear the biggest victim in that whole situation is the five month old daughter of Anna Nicole and...oh, wait...that's one of the things tying up the news channels too. See what I mean. If that little girl is lucky...we won't hear about her ever again after all this is over.

Then, to add to the insanity that is our Media in the States...we have to watch EVERYTHING that is said or placed on TV so as to not offend ANYONE. WHAT a hard job that has to be...seriously.

Even the beloved SUPER BOWL ADS are not safe. This year's winners...the 'Anti Gay' Snicker's Ad, and the 'Pro suicide' GM commercial. WHAT!?!?! OK...let's look at this realistically. If I were working on a car with a friend (and that is a HUGE if...I have no mechanical skills what-so-ever!) and we somehow made lip to lip contact by eating the same candy bar from opposite ends...I would probably act a little disturbed too. I would be uncomfortable if I accidentally 'kissed' another guy. Does that make me anti gay?

No.

It makes me straight. Sorry if my hetero-sexuality offends gay rights activists...I am very open minded, but I just can't seem to actually be gay, and often that seems to mean that someone is ANTI gay. Wow...over sensitive much? I know...they do have their rights, yes. I am not getting into the political side of things here...my point is sometimes a commercial is a commercial and it does not have an ulterior motive.

And the GM commercial...where the robotic arm jumps off the bridge...First of all, that wasn't worth the money they spent to get it played during the Big Game...but secondly...it was a robot!!!! Technically, because it was a robot...it CAN'T commit suicide, and in the end of the commercial it was all a DREAM anyway! I understand that someone who watched that may get offended or uncomfortable if it hit close to home...and I don't ever want to come across as insensitive to a topic such as suicide...but once again, a commercial is sometimes just a commercial. I GUARANTEE that GM was not saying "Go jump off a bridge if you don't think you can cut it in life." They were saying..."Watch this catchy way for us to say buy our cars."

Still, in both cases you have activists saying that the ads were geared toward the wrong message. Ultra Political Correctness run amok. That is what we have here. Then it gets to the point where you can't write a bad guy into an action story because you may be offending a certain group of people.

24.

One of the MOST popular TV shows on the air came under fire this season, as its story for Jack Bauer this 'day' is about a middle eastern terrorist who detonates a nuke in the US. Suddenly the writers of 24 are being accused of portraying 'All Muslims as extremists or terrorist.' The activist making these claims state that what Americans see on TV, they believe as true life.

...hmmm...

True life...on September 11th 2001, nineteen men (Fifteen from Saudi Arabia, two from the United Arab Emerites, one from Egypt, and one from Lebanon...all which happen to be Middle Eastern countries.) boarded four different airplanes in the US and forced them to fly into iconic targets for the sole purpose of striking fear into the hearts of American Citizens.

Perhaps, if the 9/11 attacks were carried out by the Amish, or even a group of Catholic Nuns, then this season's 24 would be a bit different. Perhaps Sister Mary Catherine, and Ezekiel Hezichia would be on the News protesting that not all nuns and guys wearing suspenders are bad.

The point is, sometimes a story calls for a bad guy...and that bad guy is going to be similar to someone you may know. It is not necessarily a personal attack toward you or anyone you know. Go pop some popcorn and be quiet...Jack's about to save the day again.

I guess it is the seeming inability to let a subject or story go after it gets the time it is worth (which often is none at all...) that set me onto this line of thought. I cannot get rid of the most recent stories...they are everywhere I look.

So basically, it boils down to me wondering why it is NEWSWORTHY if an Astronaut goes crazy and drives cross country in a diaper and we spend DAYS focused on details of the story...but no one even knows about the soldier that had to be checked in to mental health because one too many mortars ripped through his trailer, or he saw one too many of his friends get shot by an insurgent, and he just can't seem to find anyone to talk about it with.

Anna Nicole, regardless of how screwed up and fascinating her life may have been, was a human being and I feel like she is not getting the respect that a human deserves. We have so quickly gone into every facet of her life and are picking it apart before anyone has even figured out who is responsible for her final arrangements.

It is sad...yes...but which part? That it happened? Or that we are focused on the wrong parts?

There doesn't seem to be much we can do about it...or if we even want to. Perhaps, and I have even said this myself, it is because watching things like that makes our own twisted and tragic lives seem so much more normal.

Regardless, sit back, relax and enjoy the clowns. This is the show under the Big Top, focused in center ring...that I like to call Circus America.

SFC NEWMAN,
OUT